Own Your Career: Don't Wait to Be Chosen - Choose Yourself

It was no surprise to me that when I took the StrengthsFinder assessment, two of my top strengths were Learner and Achiever. For as long as I can remember, learning and striving for excellence have been core parts of who I am—and that didn’t stop when formal schooling ended.

Very early in my career, I realized that becoming a good lawyer wasn’t just about what I did at work. It was also about what I did outside of work. It became clear that there were rooms I needed to be in, skills I needed to sharpen, and information I needed to know—and that I couldn’t leave that responsibility to anyone else. While I hoped my employer would invest in me, I also knew that I couldn’t outsource that responsibility. I couldn’t wait for someone else to build the future I envisioned.

So, I made a commitment to myself as a junior lawyer: that I would invest in myself—financially, emotionally, and with time. Year after year, I set aside a meaningful portion of my own money for my development—because that’s how serious I am about it. I attended conferences, took courses, bought professional development books, and made connections.

And yes, it stung sometimes to watch peers get employer-sponsored opportunities while I was footing the bill—but I made peace with that, because it’s my career. And I couldn’t afford to leave it in someone else’s hands.

I honestly can’t count how many conferences I’ve attended over the last two decades—but I can count how many were paid for by an employer. This is not a knock on any employer I’ve worked for. It’s simply an illustration of how deeply committed I’ve been to my own development—and how deeply committed you should be to yours.

Here’s what I’ve learned: You alone are responsible for your career, development, and your future. If there’s something you want to do, a space you want to be in, or a skill you want to develop—don’t wait for your manager to offer it. Ask. Share your goals. Advocate for yourself. And if support doesn’t come, find the courage to create those opportunities anyway.

The Risk of Leaving Your Development in Your Manager’s Hands

Leaving your development in the hands of your manager is like playing Russian roulette. The odds might fall in your favor—but they might not. And that's a risk too great when it comes to your future. The truth is—many managers simply don’t have the bandwidth, budget, or vision to develop you in the way you envision for yourself. That’s not a judgment; it’s just reality.

You might have a great boss. You might not. But even in the best-case scenario, letting your growth be dictated by someone else’s timing, visibility, or preferences is simply too risky. Sometimes you’ll be selected for the opportunity. Sometimes you’ll get the budget, the nod, or the mentorship. But sometimes you won’t. And the reasons can be unpredictable and outside of your control.

In every organization, there is often a "shortlist." You won’t always know how people get on it. Sometimes the list is based on merit. Other times it’s based on charisma, chemistry, comfort, or convenience. It might be because someone is smart or attractive or reminds the decision-maker of themselves—or, conversely, doesn’t challenge them. It might be someone who’s well-liked or quiet or simply in the right place at the right time. And yes, you can be on the shortlist one day… and out of favor the next.

That’s why it’s too risky to wait to be chosen. You cannot afford to sit back and hope someone godfathers you into your next phase. You have to godfather yourself. Maybe you can’t place yourself into your firm’s coveted internal leadership development program—but you can develop the very same skills. You can:

• Take advantage of the firm’s education reimbursement

• Sign up for external training

• Join a speaking program to polish your communication

• Hire a coach

• Find a mentor—or become one

• Reconnect with peers and colleagues in your network

• Read the books, listen to the podcasts, and show up in the rooms that matter

There are so many things within your control, but you have to be willing to invest in yourself—financially, with your time, and with intention. You have power. You have access. You have agency.

There Are 6 Months Left This Year — What Will You Do with It?

There are 6 months left this year. That is more than enough time to reflect and take meaningful action. Begin with the following steps:

Action Steps: How to Invest in Yourself

1. Clarify What You Need. Identify both the technical and soft skills that will move you forward. Think about what success means for you, not just your title.

2. Commit the Time. Block off 1–2 hours a month for intentional development. That’s only 6–12 hours between now and year-end—but it adds up.

3. Set the Budget. Ask yourself: how much are you willing to invest in your own growth? Set aside funds for a course, a coach, a conference—or all three.

4. Identify the People. Who do you need to meet or learn from? Look across, not just up—your peers are just as valuable as senior leaders.

5. Assess Your Network. Who do you want to reconnect with? Who adds energy, insight, or opportunity—and who drains it?

6. Ask Yourself: What investment am I willing to make in courage? Because yes, courage is part of this. It takes courage to bet on yourself before someone else does. It takes courage to say “I belong in this room” before anyone invites you. It takes courage to ask for the budget—and sometimes, to say “I’m going, and I will pay for it” when your company won’t approve the expense.

Final Thoughts: You Are Your Best Investment

Don’t wait for your company to sponsor your growth. Don’t wait for someone to put you in the room. You are qualified to take the next step—but you have to be willing to invest in yourself financially, with your time, and with a willingness to stretch beyond your comfort zone. With commitment and intention, you can finish this year strong.

Resources That Have Helped Me Along the Way

🎤 Conferences I’ve Attended and Recommend

• SIFMA C&L Society’s Compliance and Legal Professionals Conference and Seminars

• Corporate Counsel Women of Color (CCWC) Conference

• Various seminars hosted by the New York City Bar Association 

• Women in Financial Markets (WIFM) Conference

• Black Enterprise Women of Power Conference

🏛️ Associations That Offer Great Programming & Community

• Association of Black Women Attorneys (ABWA)

• Association of Corporate Counsel  (ACC)

• Corporate Counsel Women of Color (CCWC)

• Women in Financial Markets (WIFM)

• National Association of Women Lawyers (NAWL)

These organizations have provided me with education, visibility, and meaningful connection points throughout my career. I've also taken substantive and skill-based programs through NYU’s School of Professional Studies, which I highly recommend for actionable, real-world training.

📖 Books & Publications That Have Helped Shape My Thinking

• Expect to Win by Carla Harris 

• The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins

• 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

• Thanks for the Feedback, the Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

• Leadership on the Line by Ronald Heifetz & Marty Linsky

• Executive Presence – The Missing Link between Merit and Success by Sylvia Ann Hewlett

• Harvard Business Review magazine— consistently thought-provoking and practical. Shout out to my mother who decided long ago that I needed to read this magazine consistently. She continues to buy me a copy whenever she sees it in Whole Foods.

🎧 Podcasts Worth Your Time

Podcasts are an easy way to learn on the go—whether commuting, walking, or winding down at night. A few favorites:

💼 Career, Legal, Business, Leadership, Mindset, Growth & Purpose

• HBR IdeaCast

• HBR Coaching Real Leaders

• Bloomberg Law

• TED Business hosted by Professor Modupe Akinola (Full disclosure: she’s my best friend—but I’m definitely not biased. Her show is amazing.)

• The Daily Stoic with Ryan Holiday

• On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Let’s Crowdsource Some Wisdom

I’ve shared what’s worked for me—now I’d love to hear from you:

• What conferences, associations, books, courses, or podcasts have helped you grow?

• What’s one step you can take this month to invest in yourself—financially, mentally, or emotionally?

  
  

Drop your favorite resources in the comments. Let’s build something powerful—together.

#OwnYourCareer #OwnYourDevelopment #InvestInYourself #ProfessionalDevelopment #WomenInLaw #GrowthMindset #Forbes  #WomenInLeadership #WorkPlaceWins #InTheRoomWhereItHappens